Zoophobia - In Development
by KaiserDE
Summary: Jack x Rusty. Growing up can be hard, especially if you're trying to find a deeper sense in everything. When Jack was left in Safe Haven and all of his friends started to study abroad, he found an old fellow, with whom he can share his thoughts and may find a solution to the problem they both share.
1. Phase 0: The sky weeps with you

**Authors note: Hello, this is my first fanfic and English isn't my first language, so even though I checked it many times, there could still be some grammar errors left. However, I really would be thankful for critisism and if you find any errors, please let me know. Thank you ^-^**

* * *

It has been a rainy night so far. The fish of peace were flying in the sky. Peace and silence laid in the air when suddenly all of it was interrupted by the church tower beating 4 o'clock in the morning. A rather strange time of sitting alone on a bench in the Safe Haven Airport. However, a young adolescent has already spent half of the night there, which managed to get the attention of the staff. But nonetheless, no matter how hard some of them tried to help this young boy, he always said that he'd be fine and that he'd just need to sit for another few minutes. This went even that far, that an old woman, in her 70's to be specific, was so worried about this kids condition, that she almost was about to call the ambulance, when all of a sudden the moment happened everyone was waiting for and the young man finally got up on his feet to self-consciously apologize for the last 4 hours and thank the worried staff-members for trying to help him alleviate his pain, as he laid it out. Furthermore, he assured that he'd go directly home and that he'd be fine, it would only have been a small attack of depression. It happens in those years, he added when he took his bag, which was lying next to him, and finally went out of the doors to turn around again and nod thankfully at the old lady. Then again, he simply disappeared in the night. A few minutes later, a still quite young stewardess whispered at her colleague, that she'd be afraid that this nice boy would commit suicide. Her colleague, however, added, that it always gets those who deserve it the least, which was agreed by the old woman who still was thinking about running behind this fellow. In the end, she took his word for it and decided to get back into the line to get through security.

Already minutes after the disappearance of the boy, the airport went back to the normal climate of stress mixed with annoyed people in tremendous lines. Unfortunately, this wasn't that easy for the youthful student, who was already soaked with rainwater. His fur got quite heavy but he kept walking through the rain. Whilst moving, you could say his very own way to Golgotha, many thoughts came into his head, which sent him a shiver down his spine. It mainly consisted of a recapitulation of what has happened in the previous years and especially the last months of graduation. He successfully went through his finals and even scored great marks, with which he got many opportunities for his career. Thus, he decided to study astrophysics, especially since he already worked part-time at the observatory. Initially, he was really happy when he got the confirmation that he's going to study at the Zoo-Phoenix University, in particular since he could still stay in the city. Sadly, this didn't apply for his best friend Zill, who's studying in Spain for the next five years, with his girlfriend Kayla. "Indeed, they are going to marry", he thought to himself; "sooner or later." With a downturned head, the youngling was continuing his march, which finally brought him at a small park of the Zoo-Phoenix Academy, in which he had held his graduation ceremony some months ago. In his act, of bringing his head back into a natural position, he stopped walking, to look up into the sky. In the moment he saw the beautiful stars, tears started to burst out of his eyes. As a result, they went down his cheeks to be mixed with the raindrops, which fell united to the ground where they formed a puddle.  
"Why haven't I told him", thousands of thoughts traveled through his mind; "since the moment I found him, … he was always there for me. We spent so much time together, I can't imagine how it will be without him." Another emotional attack, quite similar to the one from the airport, made him search for the next best bench, on which he more or less laid down. "I have let him go. All the time, he said that he loves Kayla! I didn't think much of it, but now he went off, with her. He's going to marry her, yes I know it, she will have captured him for good now. Zill will be all hers and everything I did was to nod and smile each time when he was telling me about her beauty, about how generous she is and what makes her the perfect woman." Slowly, daring again to watch the stars, the boy noticed that it stopped raining, which brought him back into a position in which he was sitting again. Hence, he used the opportunity to make sure the next time he cried would be in his bed and not in public. In-kind of a hurry, the teenager got back on his feet on which he soon managed to get into the marching mood from before his second attack. Despite his emotional turmoil, Jack concentrated completely on his track which paved through the entire campus of the Zoo-Phoenix Academy and ended on the bus station of it. As soon as he arrived, Jack took his phone out of the bag he was carrying, to take a look at the time. "Fuck", Jack mumbled, it was 5:12 am, the next bus would not come until 7 o'clock. Following this information, a sigh has left Jack's mouth, which was immediately noticed by a certain yellow dog, who was about to light his cigarette. Both just stared at each other for quite an amount of time, until the words "Jackson Wells?", left Rusty's mouth.


	2. Phase 1: The sensation of silence

In the second Rusty has opened his mouth, the cigarette was falling down his snout. The seconds it took, felt like years for both of the adolescent boys and they couldn't simply turn their eyes in another direction or simply close them or blink for god's sake. Notwithstanding, that it was cold and both Rusty and Jack were soaked from the rain, their crossed eyes wouldn't move. Almost like they were tied up, the two of them couldn't even move a bit with their bodies, the only thing that had space were millions of questions, of thoughts, both had about their counterpart.

"I haven't seen him for a while now", Jack's mind finally rebooted; "the last months haven't done any good for this guy." With a careful gaze, the boy inspected the person in front of him. Red eyes, quite a tired expression, and unkempt fur were visible for Jack, which kind of reminded him of a book his grandparents once read to him when he was little. He was counting 5 maybe 6 years when they read the book Shock-headed Peter to him. However, he was still able to remember the first few lines of it.

"Just look at him! There he stands,  
With his nasty hair and hands.  
See! His nails are never cut;  
They are grim'd as black as soot;  
And the sloven, I declare,  
Never once has comb'd his hair;  
Any thing to me is sweeter  
Than to see Shock-headed Peter."

Jack always wondered why Shock-headed Peter would look like this. Then again, he looked back at Rusty, he clearly looked terrible. "What has happened to him? He used to care more about his appearance. What kind of invisible evil has befallen him? Should I say someth…".

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound the cigarette made when it touched the ground. Consequently, the boy froze again, but on the other side it was now Rusty's time to move and as a result, he opened his mouth again. "You look terrible Jack." In complete apathy, Jack moved his head once again to look into the puddle next to his feet. "He ain't wrong", the boy thought; "I look quite terrible." What Jack saw didn't even frighten him anymore, even though it would be similar to a mask from a horror movie. His eyes were red as well, and this night hasn't been good for his fur either. In an unexpected manner, the adolescent started to giggle, which also brought a smile on Rusty's face, so that both of them started to laugh about their current look. At that moment Jack felt something weird. For the first time in his 12 years on this school, he has seen Rusty laugh in an honest way. Sure, he has seen him laugh several times when he more or less bullied him, but this always seemed so fake, this, however, looked natural. "I probably don't look so well either", the yellow dog laughed; "Like the girl from The Exorcist". "Or Freddy Kruger", Jack added in a laughing fit. "And you look like The Scream", Rusty couldn't stop laughing, so that there even were tears formed in his eyes, possibly this was the first time for long when this was a positive sign. After several minutes of shared joy, their eyes crossed again. With this immediate gaze, their laughing stopped in a second and they went back to their miserable silence from before until it was Rusty again who started to do the talk: "Can't you sleep as well?" Jack frowned: "It's difficult, I actually don't know yet. I just have held back thoughts for too long and tonight all of them suddenly came up. It kinda was…an emotional nightmare." "I feel ya", the yellow dog answered; "Hasn't been that easy for me either". Sedately, Rusty bent down to reach for his cigarette to relight it and took a sip of it. After inhaling the smoke he stretched his paw out, offering Jack his cigarette. "I, I don't smoke!" the other teen responded. "That ain't a cigarette", Rusty smiled and took another sip of his self-constructed Joint. Something about Rusty's smile felt so inviting, so warm. It may was the smoke he inhaled passively but something in Jack didn't want to refuse this offer and who knows, maybe it could alleviate his pain, as he has put it on the airport. "I'd like, ahm", Jack cleared his throat; "I'd really like to try it out". While stretching his paw out again, Rusty smirked quite warm at Jack, who took the Blunt into his paws to try his first sip. As soon as he vacuumed it and breathed out, he saw Rusty almost about to laugh. "What is it?", Jack insecurely asked, "I thought I would have to cough?". At that moment Rusty immediately started to burst out into a laughing fit. "You did it wrong", he smiled; "you need to take another breath deep into your lungs before you breathe out again, so you inhale it." Whereas Jack nervously sighed, Rusty just kept smiling at him, which motivated the young adolescent to go for another sip. This time, however, he didn't only get the smoke into his mouth but also his lungs, when he took another deep breath as Rusty has told him to. Suddenly, Jack started to cough and Rusty took the Joint out of his paws to do another sip himself and put his paw on Jack's shoulder. When he was finished enjoying the THC into his lungs, he looked back at Jack who was still struggling to stop coughing. "That was a really good sip, Jack, the first time's always hard, but you get used to it, but here, you should sit down." Rusty brought Jack to another bench, on his way Jack was kind of worried since he didn't really want to get back into the state he was in a few minutes ago. As soon as Jack's lungs stopped hurting he looked up at Rusty again. "Can I try again?" Playing with the Joint in his paw, Rusty just nodded and handed over the Blunt following in another sip by Jack. Fortunately, this time it didn't feel that bad and he even felt some the substance kicking in. In short, the teen felt better and was about to take another sip. In the end, they shared the complete Blunt and just continued sitting on that bench for quite a while.

"What has brought you here Rusty?", Jack asked completely stoned. "The bus? Or was it the train?", Rusty messed with Jack; "Hell man, I dunno. In fact, what makes us move each day?" With tired eyes, Jack looked at Rusty again. "Wow man, that's deep. Is this one of those deep talks you have when you're high?" Wandering with his paws through his hair, Rusty smirked at Jack again: "Nah man, that ain't deep. I'm just here to live and life makes us move. But to answer your question, I have no idea what brought me out this evening. Probably just a small attack of depression." "It happens in those years", Jack added, which was agreed by the dog. "But what brought you here to the school at this rainy night?", Rusty continued, now having a more serious facial expression; "I mean I live in the residents of the school, but you live in the districts, don't ya? That'd be more than 45 minutes with the bus, why would you come to the school?" While resting his head on Rusty's shoulder, Jack started to sigh: "You know, it's difficult. Jill, the girl I love, is probably going to marry her boyfriend, this jerk in hell and my best friend will study for the next five years in Spain. So, I'm kinda alone for now and don't know what the future may bring. In that sense, I got like an attack of depression back at the airport after I said my goodbyes to Zill and Kayla and was wandering through the night and I don't know what, but something brought me here." As Rusty sighed to say something afterward, he was promptly interrupted by Jack again, in whose eyes were tears forming again. "I don't even get the sense of living anymore", Jack cried. Initially, Rusty was just going to lay his paw on Jack's shoulder and say him that everything would be fine, but when the other boy started to cry he simply laid his arm around the shoulder to close in for a hug and kept silent. Pure silence was heard through Jack's sobbing, until he stopped, which led to Rusty trying to get off the hug again but the other one didn't let him do that. Fortunately for Jack, his counterpart didn't care, so that they stayed in this position for quite a while. "You know, living isn't that hard", Rusty replied; "It just takes humor. We both need to learn that we shouldn't take ourselves, life and society so serious, instead, humor is our only cure. In school, we've learned mathematics, art, informatics, history and whatever subject I slept through. Unfortunately, we haven't learned how to live, how to love and how to dance. I mean sure, Allanzo has taught us stuff, but I haven't learned how to just switch off my head and do whatever I wanna do while the music's playing. We are fools, thinking that what we want, needs to be reached in any way, thinking that without things happening the world stops rotating. I haven't really reached for what I was aiming for in 12 years of this school. And I just guess, you haven't reached your targets as well? We need to learn to accept this, listen to music and play our part in this world, which isn't more than dancing through life and believe me, it isn't the end if you do a mistake while dancing, the only important thing is to dance, to continue moving." While his one paw is now wandering through Jack's hair, his other one is pointing at the rising sun: "You see, another day begins." Following Rusty's speech, Jack looked up again and started to yawn, when he was finished, however, he was curious about how to start, but Rusty knew what the Jackal was going to say and just took another Blunt out of his pocket. "How about we start easy?" Agreeing with this, the adolescent nodded and they both shared their second Joint. "It was quite deep what you said there", Jack smiled. "Nah, it was Hermann Hesse", Rusty was joking again.


	3. Phase 1: Satisfying need

"You know, you shouldn't smoke that much", Jackson said, after he had taken another sip; "It isn't good for you." The Jackal handed the Joint over, which was taken by Rusty to be immediately put into his mouth. "And you shouldn't start", the yellow dog replied; "Besides, life's too short to not smoke." Then again, he took a few sips and handed it back to Jack, who slowly sipped on it for another time. After only a few minutes the second Blunt was gone as well, what was left were two boys philosophizing about life, reason, and food. It wasn't until 7 am until Jack noticed what he originally was about to do when he saw the bus arriving at the station.

"Oh yeah, … I gotta catch that bus.", Jack pointed at the bus station where they met with quite a stressed expression while getting up again. His feet, however, had other plans, they practically felt like stones. "There's no way I'm letting you ride a bus at this time, stoned", Rusty looked quite worried into Jacks eyes, while holding him on his shoulder; "You need sleep? You can sleep at my place, I can't sleep anyway. Besides, you said you are hungry, I have chips if you want some." Their conversation didn't last long, Jack knew exactly that it was quite a stupid idea to ride a bus in his condition, especially since he can't really keep his eyes open. Since both of them were already standing, they decided to head into the building as long as their feet would still work. So, both of them grabbed their stuff and walked directly towards the great entrance of the ZP-Academy. During his walk, Jack felt different, like he wouldn't be facing Golgotha anymore, but something much better, like heaven. All of a sudden he remembered what Rusty just said about living.

"Is this living", a rather fulfilling thought came up in his mind; "Living may only be sitting on a bench for several hours with your homie and sipping on a Joint. Living is to experience life on its greatest extent, to broaden your own horizon and for this it only needs one night with one guy I originally hated? Ain't that wealth? Ain't that lucky? Could this actually happen to me? Luck?" With bright shining eyes and for the first time in his life, confidently, Jack took each step with absolute joy and when he reached the stairs of the main entrance, it was like he wouldn't only move upwards, on them, but also metaphorically, as they would lead him out of the darkness of the night. And so it was, almost immediately, after Rusty and he walked into the school, the lights went on and Jack was able to see the great hall in complete luminosity, as beautiful as he never has seen it before. It may have only been a school hall filled with the usual amount of light but for Jack it was paradise. The mixture of the old lamps with the newer LED models and especially this difference of color activated an ecstasy of emotions when the light gently touched the teens' eyes. You could compare this feeling to the satisfaction of a need you'd have for quite a long time now. Like on a hot summer evening, when finally, a fresh breeze of cold air hits you or the feeling you had as a child on Christmas Eve, when Santa had visited you after having to wait a time which didn't seem to end. Furthermore, all of these feelings were combined ten hundred times due to the amount of THC in his blood. However, it didn't feel like something which was evoked by drugs, but like an emotion buried deep behind the wall of reason, but his mind was finally freed. "We consist of emotio and ratio", again, the teens' thoughts brought him a total understanding of what Rusty meant back at the park; "One thing can't work without the other. We are hell and heaven, we are sin and holiness in person. The systole can't work without the diastole, we bear reason, but have a sexual drive as well. All of us were created by God, but we also came from the animal and we can't completely cover ourselves with the reason society and our own insecurity dictates us, as we can't only live primitively, we need to achieve a balance in life to get to the goal of true happiness. Therefore, wouldn't it be reasonable to back down with what I've regarded as reason for such a long time to also give space for my innermost drive?" Still walking, Jack watched everything in a rather curious way, like he'd be a scientist who has found a portal to a new world. They were marching through the west wing corridor and the Jackal inspected the beautifully decorated walls and the dainty ground in which there were some shells manufactured into. Some of them looked like they'd be smiling at him, which brought an even greater grin on his own face. It felt like he finally arrived at his destination he was trying to reach in his misery at the airport. Such beauty of life was never expected by Jack and again the many colors of some of the paintings went directly through his eyes to kiss his soul and hug it tight. He could have sworn that these lights actually were alive and followed him all around, to give him comfort, to tell him that he's not alone and to warm his frozen heart. At that moment Jack was looking at Rusty who was walking next to him in quite an improvised manner, the Joints have completely kicked in for him as well. As they were walking through a bridge corridor which connected the main building with the B-building Jack looked again through the windows to see the sun now being completely visible in the sky. Tears were formed in his eyes again, but he didn't feel like crying, it more likely was an attack of happiness he hasn't felt for a while now. Continuing through the tall corridors of the B-building both of the boys were quite silent, you could have only heard their steps and the heavy breathing of Jack who just entered a different world. The E-building was reached soon as well to which Rusty has had a key, with which he opened Jack the door to the residents in the school. While entering the teens tried to keep quiet since other people were sleeping at this time. Hence, they carefully sneaked through the entire corridor, went left to take the stairs to walk through another corridor until they finally reached Rusty's room which he slowly opened to make sure that he wouldn't make any noise. Whereas Rusty directly went into the now opened room, Jack was still quite insecure and waited for Rusty to make a movement with his arm that he could go in there as well.

What he saw was quite a surprise for Jack, he expected dirty laundry and magazines filled with boobs into Rusty's room. Kind of shocked Jack froze at what he saw, which was a really enormous rack filled with all kind of literature. It contained everything from Kant to Schopenhauer, from Hoffmann to Goethe, from Kafka to Camus, from Dumas to Dostojewski, from Orwell to Bradbury. "Have you…", Jack needed to clear his throat again while pointing at the tremendous amount of books; "Have you read all of them?" Rusty looked at his rack, then back at Jack while slowly scratching his head: "Ehm … yeah …, I mean, I ain't a nerd alright. Just something I do and I'll break your spine if you tell anyone!" Apart from the threat he just got, Jack was pretty impressed how literate Rusty actually is. In fact, he always judged him as being narrow-minded since he hates learning as he has always put it. "Rusty, that's amazing, I never expected you liked reading, what's your favorite book?" With still a quite defensive position, Rusty gradually considered, you could see him frown, to finally reach out his paw just to take out two books of the rack. Looking clearly embarrassed by his hobby, the yellow dog held Steppenwolf from Hermann Hesse and Faust Part I from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe in his paws. With quite an excited look his counterpart attentively inspected those books in front of him and took one of it into his paws to read the summary which is usually located on the back of a book. To his disappointment, there wasn't a single word printed on it, so he had to ask Rusty what the book is about. "Ah, Steppenwolf, quite a sad book to be honest.", Rusty sat on his bed while inviting the Jackal to sit there as well, which Jack gladly accepted; "It's a psychoanalytical book which plays in the Republic of Weimar. Basically the time in Germany between the world wars. The protagonist, Harry Haller, is a quite educated man and he sees the signs for the Second World War. Sadly, society doesn't really seem to care, since they are too lazy to follow his thoughts which brings him into a deep depression. Fortunately, he finds a woman who helps him out of it and shows him how to laugh and all in all that he shouldn't take himself too serious. Like I told you earlier, we shouldn't take ourselves too serious in life, we can't change the inevitable. You won't get lucky if you expect everything to work as you want to have it. However, he learns that we don't consist of one or two souls, but thousands of souls, which all make us what we are. Thinking about them as unity ultimately leads to destruction and mania. Therefore, we need to bring all these parts together so that they get integrated into a whole. We all are parts of a whole Jack and we need to accept that. In the end, he doesn't manage to integrate his souls, he even kills one of them, but the fact that he learned how to do it, how to live, brings me hope for the future." Quite speechless, Jack just sat there with an open mouth. "Rusty the poet! Who would have thought something like that about him?", in an admiring way his eyes gazed into Rustys, while his mind still sorted out what to say now; "He really is cute. What should I do, should I say something? Oh my god, he's looking at me, I need to do something, now or never!"

In his rush, Jack leaned in and kissed Rusty on his mouth, which was immediately returned by the yellow dog. Jackson's tongue formed its way through Rusty's mouth and their tongues were united in a dense hug between the two of them. "Make two parts a whole", Jack chuckled and continued kissing his counterpart. Both of them started to sweat and obviously were enjoying what was happening until Rusty freed himself from Jack to reply. "Jack, we are stoned. We shouldn't do this now", the yellow dog squeezed the other boys paw; "We should get some sleep now. You … you can sleep in my bed, I just go into the common room and read, I couldn't sleep anyways." When, he was about to go, after having grabbed a book, the Jackal stopped Rusty. "Rusty, I'm really sorry, it probably was the drugs, I'd never do such stuff. I promise!", Jack cried. "Don't worry Jack", Rusty has put his paw on the teen's shoulder again; "You don't have to apologize, you did what I told you. You tasted life and did something unconventional. I'm proud of you, you've learned about this subject more in one night, then I have in years, but you should get some sleep now. Goodnight." Having heard this, Jack carefully nodded and with that Rusty left the room. Still shaking by what just happened, Jack slowly laid into the bed and covered himself by the sheets. Trying to get some sleep would get hard, he knew. Now he was even more confused than on the airport, what was he supposed to do now. With his eyes being wide open, he still focused on a specific recapitulation on what just happened to him. "Fuck, 5 minutes ago I had problems holding my eyes open, now I can't get them to shut.", the boy rubbed his eyes; "What was that he said about souls? Everyone consists of thousand souls, was that just one of my souls speaking, when I kissed him?" In a struggling act, the boy turned around. "That's gonna be a long night", Jack sighed, while looking at the light coming from the window.


	4. Phase 2: Change is inevitable

It was around 2 pm when the sun got too annoying so that Jack hasn't had any other choice than getting up. At first, he didn't even realize that he wasn't in his room but when he got into a sitting position the tidiness struck into his eyes and he remembered everything that has happened yesterday. If you could see through Jack's eyes now, you'd probably see a small desk with a laptop on it and about one or two meters behind it Jack was sitting on Rusty's bed. On the right of the bed, the enormous rack with all the books was visible and there even was a really small corridor which connected the bathroom with the main room. Curiously and still a bit tired the Jackal made his way to inspect the bathroom, in which there wasn't really much to be seen. On the left there was a toilet, on the right, a washbasin took some space and behind all this, there was a small bathtub with a showerhead assembled on the ceiling. A yawn left Jack's mouth and he needed to stretch himself in order to finally get more awake. After achieving this, he was wondering where Rusty might be. "He told me he'd be in the common room", Jack scratched his head and suddenly felt uncomfortable; "Aw god, what have I done yesterday. That probably was the most stupid idea I have ever carried out in my entire life. What will he think of me?", Jack bit his lips; "But he enjoyed it too, didn't he? Or was it just the drugs? What is this all supposed to mean?"

Suddenly, the door-handle slowly went down and someone quietly opened the door. This certain fellow was Rusty who gently pushed the door to make sure that he wouldn't wake up Jack. As soon as he saw, that him being silent wasn't necessary, he quickly opened the door, greeted Jack and laid his book on the desk. Quite a heavy book, to be specific, which caught Jack's attention, who risked a glance and saw that Rusty has read through the half of Dostojewskis book, crime and punishment. "Is it good?", Jack asked with the hope to stop this uncomfortable silence. The yellow dog frowned: "Hm?". "Is the book good?", Jack pointed at the heavy reading matter. "I mean, kinda, I guess?", Rusty replied; "Don't get me wrong, it's interesting that the act of murder gets described and everything, and what happens to the person who committed it and all in all the question what justice really means, but unfortunately it gets quite annoying that the author always tries to get ya into an extreme left-wing position, because everyone who has money is soooo bad." Jack chuckled, it was quite strange hearing Rusty talking about books. His smile, however, was infectious and Rusty started to grin as well. Inspecting the grin itself, Jack realized how different Rusty had become in the last few months, which at the same time showed him how much he had changed in just one night. He could have never expected to be landing here, the old Jack would have just walked home by himself and would have said no to the Joint. "I wouldn't have kissed him", the teens' thoughts about his past personality hit him; "I have felt the temptation to kiss another person several times before, but yesterday I finally did it and it felt beautiful. In order to live, change is inevitable." Both of them still joked around a bit, until Rusty asked him if he wanted to head to the kitchen to catch some toasts as kind of breakfast, lunch, dinner or a brunchinner as he put it. Jack gladly accepted and so the two adolescents went directly down into the kitchen. While they were walking Jack wrote his worried mother a message, that she shouldn't need to worry and that he had spent the night with a friend. Moreover, he assured her that he'd be home earlier tonight. By the time he had sent his last message, they've reached the kitchen and Jack went directly behind the counter to check everything out. Unfortunately, he expected it to be bigger, but nevertheless, he still could work with this one, especially since it seemed like it covered the latest technology.

"So, what do want to eat?", Jack asked putting the chef's hat and the apron on; "I'm your personal chef today." Quite confused Rusty simply chuckled and grinned again at his counterpart: "How about scrambled eggs? That seems easy enough, I guess." With crossed arms, Jack simply stood there, horrified, and looked at Rusty with a not quite so serious smile: "Come on man, I got a major in cooking, that's way too easy." Still grinning as well, Rusty inspected Jack before saying: "Well, then surprise me with really good scrambled eggs." "Challenge accepted", Jack thought to himself and simply nodded with a warm smile at Rusty who was still watching him how he cooked. When he scrambled the eggs he looked back at the yellow dog. "Afraid that I may poison you?", the Jackal asked with a malicious grin. "I don't know what else you wanna do to me, after last night", the dog replied quick-witted; "Besides, I'm your only witness." Again, the teens laughed and Jack continued filling the eggs into three cookie sheets he has found underneath the counter, to put them all into the oven. Afterward, he prepared the cheese, ham, and paprika for the next step. Slicing everything up into the right size, the Jackal also made sure to season everything right, when suddenly the bell for the oven rang. "Could you help me with that?", Jack asked while pointing with his head at the oven. "Sure", Rusty jumped up from his chair and directly went to his target, until he was stopped by Jack who gave him the oven gloves and added: "Be careful it's hot." By nodding, the yellow dog confirmed Jack's statement and continued his task carefully, as his counterpart has told him to. Consequently, the cookie sheets were laid down on the prepared spot and Jack started putting the first layer of ham on one of the baked scrambled eggs. Rusty, never having seen scrambled eggs being prepared this way, still looked quite confused, but was also pretty hyped for tasting this delicious smelling dish. The next layer was on the second cookie sheet, which he filled with many slices of paprika and the third one had cheddar cheese on it. As soon as he was finished with laying everything on the sheets, he started rolling up the first one, filled with ham, which was then laid into the second sheet and rolled up another time. In the end, he had the ham sheet rolled into the paprika sheet, which again was rolled into the cheese layer. "Now we still need to wait like five minutes until the cheese melted completely and then we can start eating.", the Jackal said, while scattering parsley over the just-cooked dish. Cutting the roll into two, Jack scrupulously made sure that the cheese wouldn't flow out too quickly, to serve it afterward on a plate. In the meantime, Rusty managed to get the crockery out of the cupboard and laid it out on the quite huge table in the dining room next to each other. When both of them sat, they've said their "Bon Appetites" and started to tuck in. Almost immediately, after Rusty has cut his slice open, a whole dose of cheese flew out from his brunchinner and he just looked at Jack wondering how he had managed to cut it that perfect earlier. Nevertheless, he just used the outlaying, liquid cheese as a sauce, in which he dipped the pieces into. Putting the slice into his mouth, the yellow dog was still quite curious how this dish may taste like especially since the look of it seemed so exotic. However, it was a culinary delight, the feeling of how the melted cheese spread over his tongue, mixed with the different spices Jack used, felt like a never-ending orgasm inside of his mouth.

If you have ever eaten such a dish in your life you probably nod agreeing right now and remember exactly when this culinary orgasm has happened to you. Quite a special moment, wasn't it? How you felt back then, Rusty feels right now, impressed that he has never tasted something similar before and that all ingredients were directly in front of him the whole time, in the schools own kitchen. "Wow, I didn't expect that you could cook that good", Rusty slurred with a full mouth; "Man, that tastes amazing." Jack chuckled: "I'm glad you like it, I actually found this recipe on YouTube a few months ago." With quite a disbelieving expression the yellow dog looked at Jack. "At YouTube?", he asked, like he wouldn't have understood it right the first time. "Yeah", the Jackal confirmed; "I know what you think, it is quite unconventional." Rusty laughed when he heard this word. "But you know, it is actually a platform like any other and there are also great chefs on there as well.", sipping on his glass of water, Jack soon after continued his explanation; "But you're right, I usually go on different webpages as well, it just was in my recommended list that day and I couldn't resist clicking that button." Still frowning, Rusty scratched his head: "Well I guess I should thank YouTube for existing then." Then again, they continued eating and enjoying the taste, until they promptly were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Never expected, you two would ever get along." Both of the teens watched into the direction from which the sudden words came from. A certain red-furred antichrist was visible, whose sight made their resistant grin fade away. "What are you doing here, Damian?", Jack sighed. "I'm getting a coke", Damian spitefully responded while pointing at his bottle; "But I could rather ask you the same question." Another sigh left Jack's mouth: "No, I mean what are you doing in school? Shouldn't you be in hell right now? I mean during the holidays?" It was that moment when Damian started to get quite a hard laughing fit in which he couldn't even express full words, which was commentated with rolled eyes by Jack and Rusty. "Oh my, you don't want me to be here, to ruin this moment for you, don't ya. I'm in school, cause it's summer and it is already hot enough up here, why should I visit hell at this time?" The demon almost burst from laughing. "Alright, we got it now, that's funny or whatever.", Finally Rusty was saying something as well; "So why don't you piss off now?" Abruptly, Damian's laugh started to end and his eyes were now fixed on Rusty, having a malicious grin on his demon face. "Oh, what about you Ruben? Couldn't make an impression on the doe boy and now trying to fuck my cousin?", the devils' sons grin got even bigger; "Such a shame you two didn't work out, you two would have been such a cute couple." Flying around Rusty, Damian continued trying to provoke the yellow dog, who also was almost about to stand up and punch him, until Jack interrupted both of them. "Damian, don't you have to study or so?", Jack responded insinuating that Damian didn't pass his finals; "Cause I mean, it might be a rumor or so. But I heard your dad is really pissed at you." Now it was Damian, whose grin faded away. "No way man, it's fine with him, I will pass next year.", Damian replied, being shocked that it was Jack who metaphorically punched back for Rusty. "Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot that he's more interested in saving his crashing stock.", the Jackal continued, now having himself a malicious grin on his face; "I wonder how hell looks like when they have to sell his financial empire. Can you imagine that, a Chinese hell?"

With that Damian left defeated, after having screamed "Fuck off" at the two teens. Rusty, being similarly shocked, now looked at Jack. He really couldn't believe that these words have left Jack's mouth, who himself wasn't sure what kind of evil has befallen him. Slowly getting everything back together, the Jackal just realized what he did, when Rusty just started, completely out of the blue, to clap. "That just was amazing man.", the yellow dog laughed; "Aw man, I'm so corrupting you." Whereas Rusty continued laughing, Jack got quite stressed and looked up from the ground, directly into Rusty's eyes. "Dude, shit, what have I done?", the Jackal said quite stressed. His inner turmoil was noticed by Rusty, who immediately tried to calm his counterpart down again, especially since Jack was just about to hyperventilate. "It's fine man, he was the aggressor and you won the fight. Nothing you should be sorry for, he basically was asking for it.", Slipping closer, Rusty laid his paw on Jack's shoulder again; "Thank you, that you defended me back there. I'm really grateful for that. No one ever really did this for me." The two of them closed in for a hug again and with that Jack felt that this all may become something life-changing for him. In a good way, so that he hasn't to be alone during his studies in Safe Haven like he actually expected. When he was with Rusty, it felt like that his entire insecurity was covered by his counterparts dominance, which obviously made its way into Jack's mind as well. "Thank you too", Jack responded; "I never felt so great in my entire life. I was really on my edge, yesterday and I jumped, … deep. But I didn't hit the ground, you stopped me. While falling, you showed me that I could fly as well. I really needed someone to follow, someone who told me to sip, who told me to talk and who told me to live. I don't know where I would have landed if you wouldn't have been on this bus station, that night." Hearing this, Rusty held Jack tight, feeling the other boys heartbeat and perceiving every single hit of it. Perceiving the tears flowing down his new friends' cheeks, perceiving every single sound he made, while speaking, sobbing and breathing. "It's okay, Jack", Rusty was still holding him; "We are two wandering souls, trying to find our place in life. I know exactly what you are living through, believe me. Those books may have helped me to change, but it needs another person to actually help us. For that, we could compare ourselves like Harry from Steppenwolf, the book I showed you earlier. He may have had a mentor who already mastered to live, but we have our little study group consisting of two." To be honest, Jack has felt like a Steppenwolf before but never could have given this feeling a name. They were both Steppenwolfes, searching for each other's company, their pack of two. "How about we wash up now", Rusty finally broke the silence. "Yeah, I should be heading home soon anyways." Hence, they went to the dishwasher, put everything in, until both of them went out to the bus station, where they met the last night. Before stepping into the bus, the two teens promised each other, that they'll meet soon again. Then, Jack sat in a seat in the back row and looked out of the window at Rusty. It didn't take long until the bus started to drive away, however, Jack's eyes still were set at the window, watching everything pass by. For the first time in his life, his head was completely empty, he didn't know what else was still left to think about. Yesterday, he had sipped on life.


	5. Phase 2: Fast Reunion

From Jackson Wells

To Cameron Walden

Dear Miss Walden,

I'm afraid, even after my graduation I'm still in need of your counseling abilities, especially since during the night of yesterday, I've been a witness of something unknown having infested my own soul. Hear me out, Miss Walden, I'm not saying that this infection may be bad or even harmful, but more likely a defense mechanism of my own spirit, trying to eliminate my individual insecurity, which has nested beyond every form of reason in my soul. Please let me make it clear that I'm not in possession of nearly enough information about this phenomenon, to explain it by myself. However, my personal appraisal would blame the incidents of the former night for this change of mind, but unfortunately, those were in its number too many, that I could blame any specific occurrence. Perhaps, it even was the totality of this certain night which triggered this blessing. Moreover, it hasn't happened a single incident, during this night, which could be regarded as unlucky or even cursed, however, as soon as I left this place and arrived at home this specific curse was somehow released again and I went back into my known misery. That's why I obviously want this change to be maintained and why I need to investigate the cause of what has happened yesterday, but unfortunately, I'm way too far away of having any solid information about this. Nevertheless, I still want you to have a short summary of what actually happened. In brief, I have met an acquaintance in the middle of the night, when I have had my usual attacks of depression, you may know him as Ruben but he wants to be called Rusty. To my bad luck, these attacks had been worse than the typical ones, it even had me stuck on the airport for 4 hours, please don't ask why I had been there, it would be too much pain to tell it. Despite my obvious terrible condition, I got involved into a quite interesting discussion with this certain fellow, in which quite much happened what I don't want to write in this e-mail, but I wish we could talk about these topics from face to face. I urgently hope that you'll fulfill my request and that I could come again for another session.

Yours faithfully,

Jackson Wells.

* * *

From Cameron Walden

To Jackson Wells

Dear Jackson Wells,

you're always welcome in my counseling room. But after having read your mail, I fear that I may don't have enough psychological knowledge to identify this phenomenon. We once discussed a possible Oedipus-complex anchored in your psyche, do you think what happened may have challenged this? But you're right, we shouldn't discuss this in an e-mail. How does tomorrow at 2 pm sound?

Sincerely,

Cameron Walden.

* * *

From Jackson Wells

To Cameron Walden

Dear Miss Walden,

thank you so much for your reply. This time sounds great, I'll be there at 2 pm tomorrow.

Yours faithfully,

Jackson Wells.

* * *

From Rusty

To Cameron Walden

Dear Miss Walden,

I know our last meeting was quite a long time ago and I more or less was forced to sit into your bean bags, due to a violent argument with another student in which I was the aggressor and I understand now that my behavior was quite improper, but I would like to ask for another session, especially since I have discovered something quite interesting about myself, with which I think I may need help from a professional. You see when I graduated I wanted to find out more about life and so I started to get into the theory. The problem, however, was that I only learned the theory, which still couldn't help me to find out about what I was searching for, until yesterday when I finally touched some practical experience, which I, as stupid as I was, rejected. To be honest, and I know that you as a person of authority are going to have to condemn this, but I actually tried Marihuana for the first time yesterday, with the hope of actually getting this certain practical experience. It turned out, that I didn't get it until I received some company, with whom I smoked two Joints, which were added to the other one I smoked before his arrival. Don't think that all of this was planned, it was a surprise for me as well when I saw him, I even dropped the Joint itself. Unfortunately, at the moment he tried to kiss me, I stopped him. As I already told you the last time we met, I have had quite a crush on Autumn, who also was it, who gave me all his books, when he had to move back to the Black Forest in Germany. To make it short, when I was drunk, I said him everything and that I'd love him. He, however, reacted quite warm to my confession and also helped me with finding out really a lot about myself. Obviously, he couldn't return my love, but that's absolutely fine because he showed me that such things don't matter in life. Thus, he helped me find the task I had to accomplish and as I already mentioned earlier, it is living. As a result, he gave me reading matter I had to read through, which I also did, you would be surprised what someone can learn in only 3 months. All of this happened, until he wrote me again, that I should now, that I have read through all the necessary literature, also get into the practical part, which was on me to find out what this one would be. I don't want you to think that he taught me to do drugs, because he's a really decent and respectable person. This was completely my idea to try and it was simply a desperate attempt to fulfill my personal next step. Nevertheless, I may haven't reached it with this method yet, but I was able to see it. All in all, I have quite a lot on my head now and I would really be thankful if you could sacrifice your time for me.

I'm really looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Rusty

* * *

From Cameron Walden

To Rusty

Dear Rusty,

that really is an interesting story you just told me. Moreover, I know someone who has exactly the same problem and I would like to have a session with both of you because I believe your personal experiences could help you. Would 2 pm tomorrow be ok?

Sincerely,

Cameron Walden.

* * *

From Rusty

To Cameron Walden

Dear Miss Walden,

This time sounds great, thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Rusty.

* * *

From Rusty

To Autumn

Hey Autumn, it's me. I was thinking about talking to you again. I was thinking about a lot lately, to be honest. So how have you been? Ehm, I'm sorry, I just don't know how to write a letter and stuff. Well, I have received your last letter and I wanted to let you know that I actually tried it out, the practical part I mean. And, yeah, it was actually pretty cool, but I was too stupid and stopped it before I finally reached the step you were talking about. Man, this night was really cool, wish you would have been there to see me. You know this Jack boy? Turns out he's actually a fag as well. I mean it in a good way, he kissed me and I kind of liked it, you know we were talking about the books you all gave me and suddenly he just gave me kiss on my mouth. It wasn't even short, it was really long, I mean at least 12 seconds and our tongues touched. I didn't want to say it to him, because he probably would have felt even more embarrassed and I'm sure he didn't notice, but his little friend was poking me when we, you know, kissed. Like, I really still blame myself for interrupting all of this, of leaving the room soon after and starting to get back into the theory, even though crime and punishment doesn't really show how to live, but still, I shouldn't have grabbed this book, I should have continued. However, I'm talking to Miss Walden tomorrow, like you said, a professional may help me to identify what I need to do. Furthermore, I'd like to apologize again, for giving you such a hard time in the last years and I also wanted to say that I miss you. I know, you already told me, that it's impossible for you to return what I feel and I really accept that, but I'm still dreaming of your arms, your smile and your voice telling me everything will be okay on that evening when I was drunk. You told me so much about souls finding their space and stuff, I actually told it Jack as well, when he was crying. It has been 3 months, I know, but your soothing voice still turns up in every dream I have, when I'm able to sleep, which isn't that much as I have already written you in my last letter. Oh, Autumn, I don't know what to do now, I actually tried drugs as Harry did in Steppenwolf, because I haven't seen any other solution. Even though you said it would be easy finding out the practical part and therefore it would be on me now, I still have no clue what to do, like at all. Please answer me soon, I need your advice, I need to know what to do because I need you. It hasn't been that hard to figure things out for a while now, because there really were moments, when I thought I would have understood it, like you know, when I read a really good sentence and I always sent that certain quote to you but you always said, it would be easy but not that easy and then I always used to continue reading and I always found another quote, which I sent to you as well. Now, I know, that I can't explain life with quotes and therefore it would probably be quite hard to explain it to me for you as well, but I'm really clueless what I should do now. I guess, I may just head to bed now, it's already pretty late. Hopefully, I'll get some sleep this time, I hope that I meet you again and that I rest my head on your lap again, while you are wandering with your hands through my fur. I hope I hear soon from you, until then, I guess I have no other choice than to try continuing to live.

Yours forever,

Ruben.


	6. Phase 2: Cross-Examination

**Author's note: Hey, it's been a long time since the last update, but school is really hard right now. However, here's the next part, I would still be really happy for some criticism, especially since I'm not really sure about the outcome this time. Also, it probably will take me a long time for the next chapter, so if it takes really long that doesn't mean that this story is cancelled. In addition those quotes I used are from the book "Faust" of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. And also Merry Christmas everyone!**

* * *

Slowly tickling his nose, it was the sun, which made him wake up. Soon, he had opened his eyes and started to yawn, which was abruptly interrupted by a fast and more importantly stressed gaze at the clock. "noon, I still have time." With that, the Jackal started to rub his eyes and get out of his bed. Sluggishly and unfocused, his steps looked like those from a drunk man, he started walking, until the boy finally reached the kitchen, in which he wanted to start preparing himself a breakfast, after having greeted his mother, who was sitting in the living room, reading a novel. From what it looked like, it probably was just a detective novel. When he took a closer look his thought was confirmed, his mother was reading "Suspicion" from Friedrich Dürrenmatt. "Quite a good book", Jack thought, while getting back to the kitchen table, until he was interrupted by his mother, who directly went into the kitchen to take the task of making breakfast from Jack. By using the words: "Let me do it sweetie", she made him sit on the big table in the living room which at the same time was a dining room as well. "So, where exactly have you been yesterday night?", his mother asked while preparing fried eggs with bacon. "Oh, I already told you, at a friend's place."; Jack responded while scratching his head. "Oh, yeah, … and what did you boys do?", his mother continued questioning her son, she probably had the feeling he'd conceal something from her. "The usual stuff." The young teen replied, again with quite an insecure tone; "Like playing games and philosophizing about the world." "Philosophizing about the world?", his mother frowned; "Didn't know that's what boys do. What exactly are you philosophizing about?" Jack was considering what to say now: "Well, about life I guess and what living is about." His mother was turning around the bacon in the pan: "Ah that sounds interesting, so what is it about?" At that moment, Jack was about to open his mouth and explain everything he knew to her, but no words came out so that he put his hand on his chin to think about what he, himself, really knew. "I actually don't really know myself yet.", with that the Jackal left his mother confused. She replied with an "ok, sweetie" and served the breakfast to her son afterward. In under 3 minutes he had finished his breakfast and stood up for washing up his dirty dishes. Henceforth, he kissed his mother and said that he still had something to do in the school and that it probably would take him until the evening to come home again. As soon as he said that, he took his backpack and went out of the door, with his mother watching him go. Fast but precise steps brought him to the next bus station, where he sat down on the next best bench again, after having risked a look at his watch to check the time. Another sigh left Jack when he finally sat. His appearance surely looked better than the one of the certain night, however, his thoughts still gave him the impression of insecurity which simply resisted and didn't want to fade away. Moreover, it even seemed like that it would do more damage in this state of inner turmoil than it had done during his previous life. If I had to describe this emotion, I would say it's a mixture of an absolute uncertainty of what is about to come and a form of regret, which again contains a part of what happened in the last few days but also what he had missed through his entire life, emphasized by the one simple wish of starting over again and the hope to reach this change of his inner psyche by a therapy he had never tried before, but is sure it will work, since the taste of what Rusty had promised him wouldn't let him go anymore. While dreaming of his bright future, suddenly a thought came up in Jack and he immediately looked around himself, if he actually could do such a thing. And yes, around three meters away from him, a dwarf was standing. He actually didn't really look like the stereotype in those German tales, like Snow White. To be honest, he looked like a hipster, especially with this beard and what was quite weird a bowler hat on his head. Looking at his smartphone without even some Apps open, he probably was trying to ignore Jack, but at this moment, the Jackal didn't even care. "Good morning, Sir", the teenage boy said in quite a loud tone; "ahm, … beautiful weather out there." Obviously, the dwarf wasn't quite interested in making small talk, so he simply replied with a nod, while risking a short gaze at Jack. The adolescent, however, continued talking: "You know, a few days ago, the weather wasn't that great. It actually rained and it was middle in the night. So I was at the airport for 4 hours, when I finally got up on my feet again and started to walk outside, during the storm. But don't worry, I'm standing here in one piece and it was quite a great experience. Nevertheless, you should definitely not risk going outside during a storm, I mean, it didn't matter for me, because I'm immortal, but that's another story. Do you follow me, Sir?" After hearing that question the dwarf sighed and put the phone into his pocket to listen to the young Jackal, who was now really joyful, that this person would actually listen to him and that he was able to talk so freely. The Jackson from a week ago would have stayed silent. "So, you see, I was out there in the storm and crying my soul out, but not due to physical pain, but the pain I was carrying in myself for quite a time now. However, I found another lonely soul, who offered me a special herb, if you get what I'm saying." Now a laugh left the dwarf. "Oh boy, I was like that as well, when I was your age." The dwarf continued laughing; "But tell me, how did it happen that a stranger simply gives you weed." At that moment, the smile of Jack got even wider. "That's the funny part, this certain person is a really well-known acquaintance of mine and it was an absolute coincidence that this guy was standing out there and in the same misery as I was. So we shared a few Joints and were completely stoned afterward." Laughter interrupted Jack. "Absolutely stoned", whereas Jack was simply waiting to speak again, it was now the dwarf who got really talkative; "Now tell me, what were your ideas in this state. I know, once I was so drunk, I and my friends just took the train and rode to Berlin and when we woke up, we like absolutely had no idea where we were. But I'm distracting, now tell me, what stupid things did you do?" It really felt good for Jack, that someone attentively listened to his story. "Well, we were philosophizing the entire night and were absolutely stoned as I already said. The problem was, that this all was in front of our school." Again the dwarf was laughing: "Where there any teachers that could have found you." Jack chuckled: "Fortunately, no one saw us smoking, but we would have been in a lot of trouble if a teacher found out." "No kidding.", the words came out of the dwarf; "But what happened then, you could have impossibly sat the whole night out there in the cold, where did you go?" Jack left a sigh. "Well, we went into the schools' residents where we continued philosophizing.", the Jackal thought about what to say now; "Actually, that's the part on which the story gets boring and I may have to let out some events. To be honest, starting a conversation with a stranger, was just a fix idea I had, with which I wanted to challenge my insecurity and talking to you, really was enjoyable, but I'm afraid, that's the part on which the story ends." After that statement, the dwarf didn't even look confused or irritated in any way, it seemed like he completely understood what Jack was saying. "You see young boy.", the dwarf started to do the talking; "When I was your age, I lived through a similar existential crisis and I got out of it as well. Don't worry boy.", with quite many problems, the dwarf managed to lay his hands on Jack's shoulder, who kneed down, so it was easier for him; "Everything will be fine. But now I have to say my Goodbye, that's my bus.", he was pointing at the bus that just arrived and started heading into this direction. "I never really got your name." Jack shouted before the dwarf stepped into the bus. "Oh, it's Mr. Charrington.", the old man replied; "But you should actually know me, I'm a teacher at your school." With that, Jack froze and Mr. Charrington simply laughed, seeing the Jackal's expression. Following that, the bus drove away and Jack sighed again: "This was my bus."

* * *

Rusty was already up and after a shower, he was ready to go. With a fast grab, he put the letter into his bag, went out of the door and locked it. Afterward, he went along the hallways, he was walking down with Jack when they were high. Now, it kind of felt different, more of something depressing, something narrowing his soul. Then again, it caused him a lot of pain walking down this way. On his way, he saw many familiar faces, but he didn't know them good enough to actually stop and say "hi" or "how are you". Not that anyone else would greet him, he was just walking through the building until he reached the main hall. Having arrived there, Rusty risked a glance at his watch. "01:39 pm, I still have some time", the yellow dog sighed; "Well, I could still use a cigarette." With that, he went out of the school, slowly opened the big doors, went down the stairs leading to the bus station, on which Jack and he met the certain night. In the background, a few people were getting out of the bus, which just arrived. However, Rusty didn't notice any bus, he was just busy searching for his cigarette pack and a lighter in his bag. As soon as he managed to find the cigarette pack he put one of them in his mouth after having weakly slapped three times on the pack itself, which seems to be a ritual of him before he smokes. Unfortunately, he couldn't find his lighter, no matter how much he rummaged through all his stuff, this lighter simply wasn't there. "You need fire?", next to him a dwarf was standing holding his lighter while having an already glowing cigarette in his other hand. "Thanks, Mr. Charrington.", Rusty replied, accepting the offer. Within three seconds, Rusty's cigarette was glowing as well and he took his first sip. Mr. Charrington had been his philosophy teacher, when he was still in school, one of the only subjects, in which he had straight A's. "I just had a really interesting conversation with a boy. He was your age, … and he seemed pretty excited.", the teacher started talking in hope of a conversation, but Rusty just replied with a nod followed by another sip. Obviously, Rusty wasn't quite talkative at this moment, so Mr. Charrington tried to get his attention in another attempt. "Well boy, are you even listening? Hear, … look at my direction. You see, isn't that better, I'm talking to you. So, I had an interesting conversation with a boy who was your age and he was talking about smoking weed at the school with another fellow who somehow reminded me of you.", now Mr. Charrington had Rusty's attention, knowing that, the dwarf enjoyed the yellow dogs expression; "Yeah, so I really need to be the authority here, Rusty you shouldn't smoke weed at the school, alright?" Quite confused, Rusty was looking at his teacher, while holding his cigarette in an angle in which the ashes simply had to drop on his hand, what also happened quite sometime after. Nevertheless, he took another sip and blew it directly at the dwarf, while grinning maliciously. "Quite a double standard, trying to guilt-trip me because I was smoking some weed, even though you were the one who fucking sold it to me.", Rusty got a little louder but was still looking at the dwarf with a friendly expression. On the other side, the dwarf didn't have such a nice expression on his face, but you couldn't tell if he's angry, since his beard covered most of his tiny face. "You see young boy.", with that, Mr. Charrington was trying to justify his statement; "Smoking weed and so on isn't bad, but doing this in front of Zechariah's office will get you expelled and me in enormous trouble. I don't care how much you smoke and even if you'd do it every day, that actually would be pretty good for me, since I sell you this stuff, but I'm distracting. So where was I. Uh, … , ah yeah, don't you fucking dare smoking this stuff in front of the school or for God's sake inside the school." As a response, he got just rolling eyes from Rusty, but as soon as the teacher wanted to start reprimanding his counterpart for another time, he was interrupted. "Oh please. *cough*", Rusty had to clear his throat from all the smoke; "I checked if everyone was asleep and Zechariah has vacation, you really think he would spend his precious time in school then? Don't you worry I have everything under control!" After that, it got silent between the two for a while, until both finished their cigarettes. Nonetheless, the dwarf tried starting another conversation. "So, what are you doing now after school?", he got Rusty's attention again; "Because you weren't eager on studying philosophy the last time I asked you?" While walking, Rusty continued rummaging in his bag, however, now he was searching for his letter, but he still tried to maintain the just started conversation with his teacher. "Yeah, duh, I don't wanna study unemployment.", Rusty was joking; "But yeah, I'm studying jurisprudence." For another time, confused, Mr. Charrington looked at Rusty: "Law? Never expected you'd be this type." "Economy law, to be specific.", the yellow dog responded, now having found his letter and holding it in his right hand; "I know, it ain't me, but who knows, maybe it grows to me." They crossed a mailbox in which Rusty threw the letter in, shortly after Mr. Charrington and he shook hands and they went separate ways. Mr. Charrington, for his part, went into the philosophy lesson he had to teach, while Rusty went directly into building C until one thing struck his eye.

* * *

"Oh, Cameron thank you so much for helping me out with all the preparations for our theatre play.", Jackie screamed at Cameron, while they were carrying the scenery. "No problem Jackie, I just need to be in my room at 2 pm for another counseling session", Cameron coughed back, the object was quite heavy. It didn't take them long to put it down, just to rest for a few seconds and try moving it again for another few steps sometime later. Around 10 minutes later they were bathed in sweat and haven't even moved it 3 meters. With that, Jackie put it down and directly looked at Cameron. "We,…"; she took a deep breath while holding her hand signaling that she really needs just a moment, "I just need to figure out another way of how to get this up on the stage. Especially the stairs!" They both gazed at the stage. "Yeah this could become a problem", Jackie sighed; "Oh, … but don't worry about that, I'll find a way. I think you should go to your appointment now … and maybe to the restroom as well, to refresh yourself, … I'm sorry." Jackie laughed and looked away, which was responded by rolled eyes from Cameron. "Yeah, I should go now, don't wanna be late," With that, she was already about to turn around, she looked at her watch, it read 01:40 pm, which would be too early, even for Cameron, so instead she asked if Jackie really was alright. However, her question was only met by a thankful nod from Jackie who was almost ready to go, she was looking at a well-known colleague, and jumped up. "OOOhh Fabiaaaan, how about you help me with the scenery." In just a millisecond, Cameron was alone, shrugged with her shoulders and went in the direction of her office. While walking she thought about what was about to come, what both of them may got to say. But she also was worried about possible dangers, especially if this was the right decision to have them both and not even telling them, who they'll meet today. "Oh my, I hope this will work out.", Now Cameron got an inner turmoil going on in her as well; "what if they won't stay, what if this will ruin their relation, which just formed?" Her steps got slower and smaller at the same time until she finally stopped and just stood there. The act of pausing was followed by a deep breath, filling both of her lungs with air and effectively calming her down. In an instant her head kept silent again, it was as if she wiped out every negative thought, what was left was only her curiosity. Right after having consulted herself with those thoughts, the woman slowly started walking again, like she was activated by turning her gaze inward. One thing she learned from Jackie: "In order to stay positive all the time, to realize the target of true happiness, you shouldn't worry of what's about to come or anger yourself of decisions you did in the past. Past is past and future is future, the only through evidence of living is possible to be found in the present. And that's what it is, life's a present!" Quite a catchy philosophy and easy in theory, but unfortunately unbelievably hard to put into practice. There are no tricks or cheats to achieve this, only long progress filled with hard work, which lets you doubt if you even want to become happy. As already mentioned, this is only possible by a complete change of your mindset, but Cameron is on it, by living in Safe Haven, she already challenged many of her insecurities and learned about seeing the world in a different angle. This lead to her invention of a new conception of therapy by even creating her ways of communicating with her patients. Nevertheless, she doesn't like the term patient, it more or less sounds quite like a threat. Like this person is somehow sick and about to get you infected. Similar to the doctors Reil and Pinel, she supports a whole new point of view, which may not be recognized by the rest. In a time, when people diagnosed with mania were treated like criminals, those two medics wrote and also practiced a method bringing those people away from the chains and closer to the ability to live a normal life. To make it clearer, back then this was a Hercules task, especially due to the lazy behavior of declaring everything, which didn't stick strictly to the usual state of behavior, society is willing to accept, as mania. Therefore people who simply had a dreamy character or acted in a way society regarded as foolish were immediately committed to the lunatic asylum. You can see that with such people around you, it may be harder to convince anyone of your idea, especially if society, in general, was too lazy to think of the possibility of such a change. But I'm distracting, fortunately, Cameron found acceptance of her theory in this new world and Zechariah even lets her practice it, perhaps it's because he is convinced himself that this strange idea actually could work. But what am I talking about? After having met Jackie, Alanzo, and this entire world in general, Cameron realized something odd. It ain't the theory which lets you achieve happiness, it's the practice. Unfortunately, however, you can't really learn what the practice is about while theorizing about anything and that's the exact point she's trying to find out. As a result, she still needs to find better ways of how she can influence her students, but she seems to be on the right way.

Then again, she was walking through the filled floors, when she suddenly watched outside of the windows and saw something rather odd. It was Rusty smoking next to Mr. Charrington. This caught her by surprise, especially since after that whole incident on which Rusty confessed his love to Autumn, when he was quite drunk, she has never seen him talk to another person again. Words spread fast and it didn't take long until the entire school knew about his crush. Somehow, it was now Rusty who was the one getting picked on, getting bullied every day by those he used to be friends with. Especially his previous victims recognized their chance and got him as long as he was weak. Therefore, it surprised her, even more, when Cameron read in his E-Mail, that it probably was Autumn who gave him alleviation in this difficult time. Hence, she was carefully sneaking out of the doors, in an absolute act of curiosity. As a child playing hide n' seek, she tried to fit into the mass to not be recognized by those two. Every step brought her pulse more up, it would be terrible, if Rusty recognized her sneaky act of espionage, but it even was for his own good, since she was expecting that this conversation could bring her details she could use to crack this case. Perhaps, she could just be asking Mr. Charrington what he was saying to him, but this old, drug-addicted dwarf would already have forgotten what day it even was. In fact, Mr. Charrington sometimes even messes up which classes he's exactly teaching. On a one-time occurrence, he even taught math to his philosophy class and didn't even notice it until a shy, red-haired girl was stressed out that she may be in the wrong course. This wouldn't even have been that big of a deal if at least his formulas were correct. Sadly, he taught absolute nonsense in those 20 minutes, which made Zechariah absolutely furious, when he later heard the dwarf's apology. It turned out: "I'm sorry Sir, but I'm stoned as heck", wasn't that great of an apology at all. Fortunately, he kept his post, but Zechariah already mentioned that he'd be keeping an eye open just for him. Another reason, why this paring really seems interesting, because Mr. Charrington probably already lives life to its greatest extent while Rusty more or less still needs to find his way. Probably, he's just asking him for some advice, since he quite seems like a young version of this wrinkled man.

"There, a bench!", Cameron thought to herself; "It won't be too obvious when I just sit there." In an attempt of looking completely, a hundred percent, not suspicious in any way, the teacher took silent steps into her identified target, with the wish of not getting recognized, while hoping to get anything useful. With the speed of light, she sat down next to a very purple and possibly annoyed cat being buried in her book. Cameron's corner of her eye recognized it as Otfried Preussler's Krabat, a novel about dark magic at a miller's place who himself is the master of 12 students, with the quite unfortunate quality of sacrificing one student each year. However, Cameron didn't care about how good the book of the student next to her is, she, more importantly, was observant of the event happening 2 meters away from her. It took another minute for the teacher to realize that both of them were silent, they just were sipping on their cigarette, not even looking each other in the eyes, basically even avoiding seeing the other. Rusty even was looking at the ground, like the expression you make when you want to say something but don't know what or thinking about if this would be appropriate. His head wandered from right to left, up to down, but mostly meeting the ground in front of him. Quite desolate, the view in front of her. Although you'd expect this silence to be over soon, it took them another 4 minutes to finally start talking again, but it was the dwarf who broke the silence by asking what Rusty would be doing now after school. At this point, Cameron's attention came back and she was keen to understand what the adolescent was about to say. Moreover, as strange this situation might was, as astoundingly was the answer.

"Law?", you'd never expect, that one word would strike your mind like that and get as deep as it just turned up in Cameron; "Why'd he study this?" Soon, she went through every scenario, of finding out possible reasons, in order of using this to describe his personality more detailed and finding some way of help for this yellow fellow. Whilst she still was absorbed by her thoughts, both of her targets were leaving the scene, which quite frightened her when she looked at the place, on which the two of them were just standing before and it was empty. With that, Cameron risked a glance at her watch and realized she still had time, so she went back into her head to sort all her thoughts about the information she just got. Closing her eyes, she was trying to meditate and get all the information together. With each deep breath, Cameron extracted her input from the depths of her long-term memory to compare it to possible counseling strategies, until a known voice suddenly interrupted her inner observation. "That was the bench.", Rusty spoke to Cameron, knowingly that she just spied on him and Mr. Charrington. However, the only reply he received was an "Excuse me?" from Cameron, which was added by an angry moan of the purple cat who took her book, stood up and went into school. "We did it on that bench.", Rusty whispered when he suddenly realized that this might sound ambiguous; "I mean smoking, nothing else!" Sweat formed on his forehead and he was scratching the back of his head. "So, you want to study law?", Cameron was changing the subject. "Yeah, it seemed like the best way for me and I'd probably regret it if I didn't try." Caring eyes were looking in his direction, but he always tried to avoid eye contact, which made Cameron realize just how insecure this boy has become, or always was. "How about we take this to my office, our appointment starts soon anyway." Confirming her statement, the teenager just nodded and turned around, directly walking in the direction of building C, which even happened that fast, that Cameron had to do some serious effort in order to catch up with him. During their walk, both of them kept silent again. "It seems like Rusty really ain't a talkative person.", Cameron's thoughts took up her time again. Just like the first seconds of their march, the last seconds were quiet as well and there was nothing in between, so Cameron tried getting back to a conversation when she opened the lock and pushed down the door-handle. "So, long time no see, how have you been?" Cameron positioned her in front of him, so he had to do some eye contact with her. "F-Fine, I guess?", the teenage boy replied whilst scratching the back of his head again, laying with his free hand the backpack down; "So, when does Jack come?" With that, Cameron frowned and was now the one scratching the back of her head: "What do you mean, …, how … did you ... know?" His grin made her reduce the speed of talking, which was recognized by him, so he took the opportunity to explain himself. "I ain't stupid; it is a well-known fact, that Jack is using your counseling session since the date you arrived in this world. Furthermore, how I know this Jackal, he probably was in need of some advice after our meeting … like me.", as reaction of what he heard saying himself, the yellow dog sighed and continued whispering in a volume which was even hard for Cameron to understand; "Guess we ain't so different at all, I hate it when you're right Autumn." Unfortunately, even though she really tried hard to understand everything the young man was saying, she only understood Autumn, which brought her to immediately get back to that. "Autumn? Would you like to tell me about him?", her hand was making an inviting sign for him to sit down in one of her bean bags. After all these years she hasn't changed them yet, she thought they'd be giving her students a relaxing atmosphere and would help them to open up. A suspicious facial expression stayed on his face when he sat down, but it slowly faded away when his spine felt the unwinding position it got into. "Well, he helped me through quite a hard time, it was almost the roughest time I lived through yet and I don't know what would have happened … without him." Rusty looked on the ground; "Well I don't know what I'd have done without him and what I should do now without him. You see, the only thing I'm trying to do is achieving true happiness, but I don't know. Even though I've studied so hard, I did everything, read through every book Autumn told me to read I even formed my own opinion on every point … and see that I can know – nothing!" His head was still turned downwards, it even was a tear visible going down his cheeks and falling to the ground, which he would later deny if anyone would ask him about it.

"Ah! …", Cameron tried getting back to Rusty and cleared her throat before continuing.

"Ah! Now I've done Philosophy,

I've finished Law and Medicine,

And sadly even Theology:", her speech made the young boy look up again directly into her eyes. With that, the teacher knew that she had his attention again and that this could really bring him further.

"Taken fierce pains, from end to end.

Now here I am, a fool for sure!

No wiser than I was before:", at this point, the quote shouldn't originally be finished but she wanted to encourage Rusty to finish it himself, it may help his development. Therefore, she just looked into his wet eyes.

"Master, Doctor's what they call me,

And I've been ten years, already,

Crosswise, arcing, to and fro,

Leading my students by the nose,

…", Rusty stopped talking and wished the tears out of his eyes to continue his last sentence; "And see that we can know – nothing!" In an instant, he started to stutter and looked back at her to form words in his mouth. "Y-You-You've … r-read … Faust?", it came slowly out of him. "Now he's open.", Cameron thought and started to continue her speech.

"It almost sets my heart burning.

I'm cleverer than all these teachers,

Doctors, Masters, scribes, preachers:

I'm not plagued by doubt or scruple,

Scared by neither Hell nor Devil –

Instead all Joy is snatched away,

What's worth knowing, I can't say,

I can't say what I should teach

To make men better or convert each."

After that, it was silent for a few seconds until the teacher thought to herself, that this was enough time to let him think.

"Do you know who Goethe was?", she asked the adolescent, well-knowing he surely knew the answer. "Of course.", it came out of the yellow dog; "he was a genius, he knew the philosophical and scientific answers to problems before the majority even knew that they existed. He wrote so many great books and was the greatest German author of history. He…, he…" Rusty interrupted himself there and didn't know how to continue to such a basic question. "Well, you see Rusty, Goethe himself, didn't know the answer to many aspects of life as well and it took him two books for his character Faust to find relief in his hunger of understanding. On his way, he threw many decent people in their doom and could have landed there himself, if in the end he hadn't found to a greater understanding. It was a game between the Devil and God and whilst he went with the Devil the entire two books, it was God at the end who won the bet! What I'm trying to say is that this pure theoretical question can't be answered by books, but with a greater practical understanding." With that, the boy looked shocked and tried getting out a few words to respond to that, but it only was enough for another quote.

"Still have to speak what I cannot know:

That I may understand whatever

Binds the world's innermost core together,

See all its workings, and its seeds,

Deal no more in words' empty reeds.", it was exactly like Autumn always told him. After having said that his head fell back into his arms and a sad sigh left his mouth. "But how,…?", he didn't even look up to Cameron, just kept making noises like he'd be sobbing, what he would obviously deny if someone would ask him; "I can't get rid of those words?" Continuing his self-pity, Cameron couldn't let him sit there alone any longer, so she decided to get up and sit next to him in the bean bags. "Ruben, do you remember the scene in which Faust started to translate the bible.", Cameron asked while laying her hand on his left shoulder. Her question was confirmed by a nod.

"It's written here: 'In the beginning was the Word!'

Here I stick already! Who can help me? It's absurd,

Impossible, for me to rate the word so highly

I must say it differently", Cameron stopped with the hope her student could continue this quote. Unfortunately, Ruben was still letting his head hanging in his arms and didn't even react to it.

"If I'm truly inspired by the Spirit. I find", so she continued;

"I've written here: 'In the Beginning was the Mind'.

Let me consider that first sentence,

So my pen won't run on in advance!

Is it Mind that works and creates what's ours?"

Suddenly she was interrupted by recognizing that Rusty moved his head and was about to say something. By that, she kept silent, to encourage him, an opportunity he thankfully accepted.

"I-It s-should say: …", you could still hear him sobbing, but he was about to rearrange his feelings again and tried to stop that wretched sound; "I-In the b-beginning was the P-Po-Power!'

Y-Yet even w-while I-I w-write the words d-down,", he still stuttered a bit, but Ruben slowly realized the point Cameron was trying to make; "I'm warned: I'm no closer with these I've found.

The Spirit helps me! I have it now, intact.

And firmly write: 'In the Beginning was the Act!'"

Proudly, Cameron looked in Ruben's eyes, well-knowingly that she now had to be strategic to get some kind of development going on in him. As a result, she again laid her hand on his shoulder and tried to get back into a conversation. "So, what exactly happened in this scene?", Cameron was hoping for an answer and gladly, Ruben got back into the talkative mood from before. "Well … he became a man of act, it was a development of him as a man of words to someone who does … stuff;" his answer was quite specific, however, it lead to somewhere which Cameron wanted to go on. "And how exactly did he do that?", this was probably the most important point she had to make or otherwise this whole thing would have been worthless; "Did he do it by reading as many books as possible or theorizing?" Finally, Ruben got the whole understanding she was trying to let him be a part of. In fact, if you could have watched him in this exact moment, you'd see his eyes slowly opening and his spine getting him into a healthy position again, a position which suggests attention and interest. Meanwhile, his mouth continued to open, his facial expression would look quite surprised, but not like it was in any hurry, more like it knew it's way, now that he finally understood what this scene exactly meant. "It … it … it means that … he did it by actively working on this issue. He tried finding the answer in a book but then again translated it, so he can learn about it. But while doing so he not only wrote his own interpretation of it on the paper, Faust really brought it into his head just to extract it later in his acts.", still a bit insecurely Ruben looked at Cameron like he'd expected some kind of confirmation; "But how? How can I also become a man of act?" At this point the teacher only looked with a caring glance at her student, she knew that he'd figure it out, but just to be sure, Cameron still tried to smooth the way for him. "Ruben, you may not have a bible to translate, but a friend to read out of the answer." At that exact moment, they both heard someone knocking on the door, which was responded by a "come in" by Cameron. Towards them now was standing a sweaty Jackal who was, if the sight wasn't deceiving them, completely exhausted. Jack needed a few seconds to get some words out, it took him several breaths until he finally spoke in a clipped manner at least: "I-I'm sor-ry … missed … the bus." Following that, Cameron just made a sign to Rusty, the teacher knew her student was able to interpret that right. Eventually, Ruben got up and looked at Jack. "Hey Jack", Rusty was scratching the back of his left arm and looked towards the ground; "would you … like to meet up sometime. Just the two of us, perhaps … today?" Afraid what his counterpart may say, the yellow dog didn't dare to look up to him and kept his insecure pose. A long-time he didn't hear anything, Jack himself was quite shocked about the question his newfound friend just asked him. Millions of thoughts crossed through the head of the Jackal, some went directly to their destination like some kind of express good, others were delivered more lazily and took a while to be realized, while on the other side some even took that long like they'd be traveling as some kind of hitchhiker and develop at their journey with the acquaintances they'd be doing on the way. One specific thought was bound to be the last one arriving in Jacks's head: "As a date?" At this point, it took even that long that Cameron got quite insecure as well until finally, the boys' voice broke the silence. "I'd love to."


End file.
